Category Archives: Physicality
Give Your Body a Valentine
Believe it or not, your body is aware of who you are, what you care about, and how you are doing emotionally and spiritually. Our bodies are part of who we are, and they know us better than we think they do. (If you missed it yesterday, you can read about my experience learning to listen to my body here.)
This week we’re learning together about the connection between our physical and spiritual selves through Flora Slosson Wuellner’s book Prayer and Our Bodies. These posts are not meant to be a book review but a sharing of and engaging with some of her insights as an ordained minister, adjunct professor, and trained spiritual director.
Wuellner’s Introduction
Here is some of what Wuellner has to say about the body throughout her introduction:
Our understanding and awareness of our bodily selves unfold slowly as we grow, learn, and mature within God’s embrace.
This is why the development of a holistic body theology begins with and is constantly being informed by our identity in Christ. This is also why becoming more media literate and culturally discerning is important so we can sift through the messages we receive in search of God’s truth about who we are.
When the body is mentioned in the New Testament, it is often referred to by the Greek word soma, which usually implies the whole human self: body, emotion, intelligence, will.
Because our faith is rooted in the incarnation of Jesus, any form of spirituality we claim must also be incarnational, which by definition includes the wholeness of the person. This will profoundly influence our relationship to our communities and our world.
This is why I have added the word “holistic” to my discussions of body theology and have expanded the definition to include not only our physical selves (body image, sexuality) but also how we interact within the community of God (the body of Christ, community) and within our larger local and global context (the body of Christ, service).
…[A]s we grow into a new, transforming relationship with our bodily selves, we will begin spontaneously and naturally to make informed decisions about our habits, lifestyles, and relationships.
I don’t think I could write a better description of the purpose of holistic body theology. We are created to engage with ourselves, with God, and with others through our bodies, not in spite of them.
Chapter 2: Reconciling and Celebrating Our Bodies
In this chapter, Wuellner gently approaches the topic of body image and the need for inner healing. She asks, “What have our bodies done to us that we ignore, dislike, and punish them so?” and suggests that “much unhealed anger, fear, and hurt underlies our dislike and suspicion of our bodily selves. These unresolved, underlying issues affect our engagement in culture (e.g. what and how much we eat and drink, how we identify and treat illness) as well as how we relate to ourselves, one another, and God.
Our bodies were created in unity with our emotions, intelligence and will, Wuellner describes, and being out of touch with our emotions and bodies results in “fragmentation.” Wuellner encourages her readers to “pray for awareness that our disliked bodily parts are part of us and have served us faithfully. We can stop blaming our bodies for our own decisions…. Celebration of even one small part is deeply healing to the whole.”
She suggests that engaging with our bodies in prayer can provide space for us to “learn to listen to the signals of our bodies, honoring them as one of the main ways God speaks to us and by which we can learn much unencountered truth about ourselves and our communities.”
Guided Meditation with the Body
She goes on to offer a guided meditation exercise in which she encourages her readers to
1) think of a part of the body they dislike or are ashamed of and picture it being “touched lovingly” or “gently washed” by Jesus,
2) touch that part of their bodies themselves, “thank it for being a faithful friend in spite of your dislike,” and ask God for healing of the dislike or shame associated with that body part,
3) remember a time their bodies were insulted or criticized by someone else and see themselves as they were at that time (e.g. child, teenager, adult) being comforted by God, and
4) thank their bodies as they are now “for taking the special tasks and challenges of this phase of your life” and allow their bodies to be held by God “as one who is precious to God and valued by God.”
A few friends and I tried this mediation exercise in our sexuality group two or three years ago. Even though it was an uncomfortable approach for some of us at the time, I remember how the night was filled with healing, freedom, and peace as we each acknowledged some shame or emotional hurt related to our bodies and were able to deal with it individually with God in a shared, safe space.
Give Your Body a Valentine
Today, try setting aside a little time to celebrate Valentine’s Day with yourself by going through this exercise (or whatever portion or version feels safe and available to you).
Show some love for your body as it is now, fearfully and wonderfully made by a powerful, creative God who knows you, loves you, and could not possibly imagine this life without you in it!
My Body Is Rebelling
I ignore my body.
This can be attributed in part to my nature as an introvert. I spend a lot of my time alone, thinking and reading, journaling and praying. I live in my head. I process internally.
In my 28 years, I have at various times deprived my body of food, sleep, human touch, rest, and exercise. I have pressed my body into service to accommodate my intellectual pursuits. While I lived in my head, my body suffered and struggled and learned to carry on.
Now, my body is rebelling.
I’ve begun to feel like an old person with a worn-out, falling-apart body that won’t listen to me at all when I tell it to stop being silly and behave like it should. After years of being ignored, my body has gotten fed up. As I continued to ignore it, my body increased its volume until its (her?) cries have become deafening.
Here’s what my body is yelling:
- I’m tired from the many, many years you would not let me sleep until I felt rested!
- My shoulder hurts from that car accident we had in 8th grade that you never finished doing the physical therapy exercises for!
- My back hurts from the scoliosis you never stopped to notice until it got so bad we ended up with a slipped disc and sciatica!
- I’m tired from the many, many years you would not let me sleep until I felt rested!
- Various portions of my digestive system hurt from all the times you forget to eat or don’t put the energy into preparing a properly balanced meal!
- My wrists hurt from that pinched nerve we get in the neck every time you try to carry emotional burdens that aren’t yours to bear!
- My jaw hurts from all that teeth-grinding you do at night when you stay up worrying and over-analyzing instead of letting me rest!
- My eyes hurt in bright light from all the times you were too busy to stop and buy sunglasses to provide adequate protection!
- I’m tired from the many, many years you would not let me sleep until I felt rested!
My body is angry at me, and it is rebelling. It won’t let me get out of bed and do the things I want to do anymore. My body is finally making itself heard, and it’s yelling so loudly that I can’t help but be the one to submit this time.
Over the last few months, I have begun to learn to listen to my body. I sleep when I am tired. I eat when I am hungry, and when I can’t tell if I’m hungry or not, I try to eat anyway. I wear sunglasses pretty much all the time, even when I drive at night. I wear a mouth guard to keep myself from grinding my teeth even though it makes me look ridiculous and hard to understand when I talk. I stay in bed and rest instead of “being productive.” I do my prescribed stretches and ball exercises to help loosen up my back. I lie down or stand instead of sitting to ease the pressure on my sciatic nerve.
These may seem like little things, small changes that don’t matter much. But the change isn’t small at all. It’s huge. I have lived so much of my life in opposition to my body, or at least out of touch with it. I have lived like a docetist or gnostic–more concerned with the life of the mind than the life of the body. I have lived my life disconnected from myself, and that is not what Jesus had in mind when he came into the world to complete our joy and bring us the fullness of life. I have talked about the incarnation of Jesus, but I haven’t lived like I value my body as much as I value my mind.
So I’m making a change. I still have a long way to go, but slowly I am learning to pay attention to my body and adjust my lifestyle to fit its needs.
To give me a place to start, I’ve been reading Prayer and Our Bodies by Flora Slosson Wuellner. This week, I’ll give you a little taste of what she has to say about the connection between our spiritual selves and our physical selves.
For today, I’ll leave you with some of Paul’s words to the Corinthians:
For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. (2Cor 5:4)
What has your body been telling you lately? Share your answer in a comment below to join the conversation.
Guest Post: Insecurity and the Media
Introducing my first guest poster: Matt Cavanaugh
There is power in security. This may pertain to financial security… intellectual security… or physical security.
For years leading up to the neo-women’s lib movement of the 90’s, marketing guru’s assaulted women with example after example of how women needed to attain a physical standard possible for very few women. This marketing strategy was consistently successful and led to mondo sales in makeup products, corrective surgeries, and anything else that would propose to fix a woman’s sense of insecurity. However, in the 90’s and early 2000’s, the tide began to change and the standards set forth for women began to be a bit more attainable. More and more women became comfortable (or more comfortable at least) in their own skin. The result? Marketing guru’s shifted their focus more to men: specifically towards creating insecurities towards men.
In came the erectile dysfunction ads, the increase in male skin being shown in magazines, countless haircare products aimed at preventing baldness, diet pills specific for men, etc… These marketing strategies worked and lucrative companies were birthed around “curing” men of these insecurities. Eating disorders and depression became more common in men. Physical insecurity, specifically, has become a much more prominent issue for men in the last two decades.
So what does this have to do with body theology? In truth, everything. How difficult is it to worship the Lord, to feel proud, to feel confident when a person feels overwhelming shame and guilt towards their own appearance? Talk about handcuffing!
The fact of the matter is that both men and women are increasingly under attack within the media of today’s world. So what do we do? Do we unplug from the media around us? That is for you to decide for yourself. Me…well… I choose to remain connected to tv, radio, movies, magazines… but I always attempt to see media for what it is: entertainment that often promotes a false reality. I’m never going to look like Brad Pitt or David Beckham and I’m completely ok with that.
My goal in life, in faith, and in everything else is to heed Tony Horton’s advice in his P90x workout routine: “To do my best and forget the rest.” My best is good enough for myself, the people that care for me, and most importantly, my Lord and Savior who loves me and my imperfections all the same.
Matt Cavanaugh is a blogger, newspaper columnist, avid hiker, and lover of the outdoors. You can read about his many excursions at OutdoorsInCali.com.
Identity in Christ
Yesterday we looked at the dangers of self-deprecation and believing lies about ourselves. Sometimes we can get caught up in what the world, other people, and even what we say about ourselves. When that happens, it’s much harder to recognize the truth anymore. Sometimes we can be so overcome by the lies we believe about ourselves that we no longer hear God’s speaking truth over us.
But we’re in luck. God tells us all about who God is and who we as Christians are because of God. God is the great I Am, the Beginning and the End. There is nothing that God does not understand or know about or control. Despite sin and evil in the world, God’s opinion of us has not changed because of who we are in Christ. Finding the truth about ourselves is as simple as cracking open a book. Let’s take a little tour this morning and hit some of the highlights.
God created us in the image of God. (Gen 1:27)
We are God’s good creation. (Gen 1:31)
Our bodies are not shamful. (Gen 2:25)
God created our spirits and our bodies from the moment of conception. (Ps 139:13)
We have the Spirit of Truth living in us. (Jn 14:16-17)
We are like Christ not only in death but also in the resurrection. (Rom 6:5; Rom 8:10-11)
There is no condemnation for us because of Jesus. (Rom 8:1-2)
We are the temple of God. (1Cor 3:16)
We are part of the body of Christ in equality because of the Holy Spirit. (1Cor 12:13)
We are being transformed into the image of God by the Holy Spirit. (2Cor 3:18)
Our bodies contain the glory of God. (2Cor 4:6-7)
We are new creations. (2Cor 5:17)
We are the children of God and God’s heirs. (Gal 4:6-7)
We are complete in Christ. (Col 2:10)
We are new and are being renewed according to the image of God. (Col 3:9-10)
We are from God and are overcomers. (1Jn 4:4)
These are just a few of the truths God has shared with us through scripture about our identity through Christ. Next time you’re tempted to believe lies about yourself, go back to this list and remind yourself of the truth of who you are.
When God’s truth is the basis for our identity, we are better equipped to be discerning about messages we receive elsewhere. More on that tomorrow.
Powerful Words
I used to be very self-deprecating.
Growing up, I developed a very low opinion of myself, and because of what I thought about myself, I assumed that’s what everyone else thought about me, too. We all know how mean children can be to each other, and I learned early on that it was safer to make fun of myself before other people had a chance to highlight my faults. Even when the other kids weren’t being mean, I went right on protecting myself with self-deprecating comments until what I said about myself became what I believed about myself.
Dictionary.com defines self-deprecation as “belittling or undervaluing oneself; excessively modest.” As I got older and learned in Sunday School about the dangers of pride, I thought my self-deprecation fell into the category of false humility. I thought I made derogatory comments about myself and deflected compliments because I really had a too-high opinion of myself and was trying to mask my excessive pride. So I tried to lower my opinion of myself even more and reject any praise as pride. I thought I was finished caring what other people thought about me.
What I didn’t realize was that I cared an awful lot about what I thought of myself.
Fast forward a few more years, and I began to realize that deflecting compliments only made the conversation longer as people persisted in highlighting something positive about myself that I could not believe or receive. Prolonging the conversation with self-deprecation only made me more uncomfortable and the compliment-giver try harder to convince me they were right. So I began to thank people and immediately change the subject so they would think I had really accepted the compliment when in fact I knew that accepting a compliment (which in my mind was synonymous with caring what others think) was only being prideful.
Then one day while I was working in the bookstore as a graduate student, I had a God-moment. Without any provocation and while having a conversation with my coworker about something completely unrelated, I realized I had been self-deprecating for so many years because I had low self-esteem.
Now, low self-esteem was always something other people had, those sorry individuals who were chained to the opinions of others, or maybe my 7th-grade self. But no, not the graduate student with big dreams of becoming a writer someday and making a real difference in the world. I didn’t have low-self esteem. I had pride and false humility and clever tricks to refocus a conversation. I was self-deprecating because it was funny or charming…or true.
Uh-oh. There it was: the truth. I was self-deprecating because I believed I was little and had no value. I deflected compliments not to be modest but because I believed I was unworthy of any praise. I was self-deprecating because that was what I really believed about myself.
So I decided, right in the middle of that unrelated conversation with my coworker, to try a little experiment. If I really believed what I said about myself, maybe I could improve my self-esteem by saying something appreciative about myself. At that moment, my coworker said, “That’s a good point.” And I said, “Thank you. I make excellent points.”
Now, I was being hyperbolic, and he knew it, and we both chuckled and carried on with our discussion. It was a small moment. My coworker probably never noticed anything had changed. But I did. I noticed. And I haven’t stopped noticing.
Maybe some of you lovely readers really do struggle with pride or false humility, and I have been there, too. It’s an easy trap to fall into, but this post isn’t meant to warn you against false humility. It’s to warn you against the other side of that coin.
What we think about ourselves matters, and what we say about ourselves influences what we think about ourselves. Our words have power. (There’s actual brain stuff involved there, but I’ll save the science for another day.) So next time you make a comment about yourself, think about what you’re saying, and ask yourself if it’s true. Maybe it’s what you believe about yourself, but is it really true?
Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you’re not sure what’s true anymore. Maybe you’ve gotten so wrapped up in what your friends say, what your parents say, what your classmates or coworkers say, what your boss says, what that magazine quiz you took in the check-out isle says, what the movies and TV shows and self-help books and all the rest of the world says about who you are that you can’t hear what God says anymore. God’s voice was drowned out a long time ago, and now you’re not sure you can believe anything you think you hear, even from yourself.
Well, then you’re in luck. God wrote down a bunch of the stuff we need to know about who we are. (We’ll take a look at some of that stuff tomorrow.)
So for all you self-deprecators out there, next time you start to make a comment about yourself, try a little experiment. Try saying something nice about yourself instead. You’ll probably still make a joke out of it. You probably still won’t believe it. At first. But try it again the next day, and the next.
God just might surprise you by speaking to you in your own powerful words.
Holistic Body Theology 