I turned 29 recently and have been reflecting on my life’s journey thus far. I have come a long way personally and spiritually and am no longer the person I was when I was in high school or college.  If I could go back in time and talk to my younger self, here’s what I would say:

29 Truths I would tell my younger self

1. It gets better. I promise.  Keep on keeping on until it does.
2. Know who you are.  When your identity is sure, you will stop believing the lies other people tell you about who you are.
3. You are beautiful and worth loving.  You will fall in love and get married sooner than you think.  Live with confidence in who you are.
4. Let people in. They may bring pain, but they may also bring healing and joy.
5. God loves you. No, really.
6. Stand up for yourself. Ignoring the problem behavior only makes them try harder to hurt you. Show some backbone and they’ll never have the guts to cross you again.
7. Acknowledge pain others caused you, deal with it, and then move on.  Pretending it didn’t hurt doesn’t make it true.
8. You don’t have to be always right.
9. You don’t always have to prove you are right to everyone else. Sometimes it’s more important to maintain a relationship and open conversation.
10. It’s okay to let go.  You don’t have  to carry everything all at once.
11. It’s okay to fail. The world will not fall apart. Plus, you can always try again.
12. Practice self-care.  Rest is as productive and necessary as work.
13. You don’t have to take care of everyone all the time forever. Share the burden. Give people the opportunity to learn to care for themselves.
14. Quoting Bible verses to support your argument to people who don’t read the Bible can be alienating.  Meet people where they are.
15. Allow people to be who they are, where they are in their personal growth, and trust that God will get them where they need to go in time.  Offer people the same gentle patience God shows you.
16. Instead of focusing on what divides, look for common ground, what unites people, and build on that foundation.
17. Be willing to admit you could be wrong.
18. Admit when you’re wrong.
19. Your voice has power. Speak.
20. Pace yourself.
21. Don’t judge others. I know you think you don’t, but you do. Stop it.
22. Have more compassion.
23. Show more compassion.
24. Life is not black-and-white. God is not black-and-white.
25. Stop correcting people’s grammar out loud.  People make mistakes. Don’t rub their faces in it.
26. You think you’re motivated by love, but you’re not. You’re motivated by fear. Let go of the fear, and there will  be room for the love.
27. Own your mistakes. Say you’re sorry. Make it right. Pretending it didn’t happen does not make it true.
28. All-or-nothing is easy, but it’s not healthy. Aim for the happy middle.
29. Keep writing. It will save you.