Author Archives: Laura K. Cavanaugh
On Being Brave
22 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” 27 The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. 28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,[a] because you have struggled with God and with human beings and have overcome.” 29 Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.” But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there. 30 So Jacob called the place Peniel,[b] saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.” 31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel,[c] and he was limping because of his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob’s hip was touched near the tendon. – Genesis 32:22-32
I woke up thinking about this passage on Saturday. Since I started this blog, I have occasionally been awakened before my alarm already thinking of what to write about. But this time I didn’t really understand what this passage had to do with body theology, or with me, for that matter.
I had a marathon weekend working in Pasadena and didn’t get to put much thought into it, but last night on the long drive home, I put a good portion of my attention toward identifying the purpose God had for leading me to this well-known moment in biblical history when Jacob wrestles with God.
And I noticed three things.
1) God shows up physically.
God meets Jacob at a critical moment in his life–just after he has learned what it’s like to be deceived by Laban’s manipulation and just before he is going to be reconciled to the brother he once deceived.
Let me clarify. God meets Jacob physically, and Jacob is left with a physical injury as a result of his night-long struggle.
But here’s the thing I love about this moment: God did not overpower Jacob. In another translation it says that the man “was not able” against Jacob and that Jacob struggled with God and with people and “was able.”
God met Jacob exactly where he was, down to the exact strength of his muscles.
2) Jacob has the audacity to demand a blessing–and he receives it!
As much as the health-wealth gospel is criticized, here’s a mark in its favor. If Jacob had not asked for the blessing, he would have walked away from his encounter with God with only the injured hip. Jacob may limp away from his encounter with God, but he also gains a new name.
3) Jacob is still referred to as “Jacob” after this moment when he is given the new name “Israel.”
I find this truly interesting since all the other times people are given new names (Abram/Abraham, Saul/Paul), they are immediately and forever changed. Yet Jacob is still sometimes “the deceiver” even after he becomes “one who struggles with God.” That tells me sometimes receiving a blessing or realizing a change in character are not lightning-bolt moments but ongoing journeys toward something new and better.
Being Much-Afraid
One of my favorite books when I was younger was Hinds’ Feet on High Places. If you haven’t read it, you should! It’s an allegory of the Christian life, following Much-Afraid’s journey to meet the Good Shepherd on the Mountain of Spices. Her companions are Sorrow and Suffering, and they help her navigate the difficult path through the mountains on her crippled feet. At the end, Much-Afraid reaches her destination, is restored to full health in her body, and receives a new name. Her companions are also transformed.
So I asked God on my drive home late last night what it was about this passage in Genesis that was so all-fire important that I had to wake up early on an already full weekend just to hear about it.
And I realized something.
I am Much-Afraid.
Okay, maybe that’s not news. I’ve identified myself with that allegory many times in my spiritual journey. But this time I realized something else.
I’ve been given a new name. But like Jacob, I’m still sometimes Much-Afraid. I’m still learning to live into my new name more fully and more often.
Then I read about how Alise sometimes feels like she doesn’t stack up against other bloggers and how Sarah is sometimes afraid of her name and her voice, and I suddenly felt known and understood and not alone anymore. These bloggers have such unique and vital voices (and such well-established web presences), and they still sometimes feel the same way I feel.
Discounted.
Afraid.
I opened up my bedside table drawer and pulled out a gift a friend gave me, a little paperweight in the shape of a heart with “Strength” carved into the rock.
I once heard the word courage described as “strength of heart” and remembered a story I wrote in seminary about a boy named Courage who goes on a journey to recover his name after a spell of lies changed it to Fear. If you read Tuesday’s post, you’ll understand.
Being Strength-of-Heart
And that is how I came to understand why God felt it necessary to wake me up so early on Saturday morning and remind me of a passage I haven’t read in ages about something that doesn’t even seem that related to body theology and yet MUST be the inspiration for this week’s blog posts.
I’ve been given a new name.
I am not Much-Afraid anymore.
I am Strength-of-Heart.
But I have been living like I’m still Much-Afraid for a long time.
I have strength of heart, as much strength as Jacob had that night he wrestled with God. When I encounter God, God shows up with just exactly that amount of strength to push back with. When morning comes, I am wounded and limping, but I am also blessed and so much closer to being that courageous woman God has created me to be.
God is restoring my name to me. I am becoming Strength-of-Heart again, the Strength-of-Heart I was created to be, the Strength-of-Heart who got buried under all the fear and lies of the world.
I am emerging. I am being made new.
I am finding my voice.
I am going to be brave.
20 Reasons I’m Afraid to Speak
- I am afraid of being wrong.
- I am afraid of drawing attention.
- I am afraid of not being prepared.
- I am afraid of losing friends.
- I am afraid of losing potential friends.
- I am afraid of being attacked.
- I am afraid of being misunderstood.
- I am afraid of being disagreed with.
- I am afraid of making the situation worse.
- I am afraid of harming someone else’s walk with God.
- I am afraid of failing.
- I am afraid of succeeding and not knowing what to do next.
- I am afraid of having nothing worth saying.
- I am afraid of being considered unworthy of saying it.
- I am afraid of being known.
- I am afraid of being known and then rejected.
- I am afraid of gaining nothing.
- I am afraid of losing what I have.
- I am afraid of living up to my potential.
- I am afraid of discovering my potential isn’t enough.
Courage and the Book of Truth: A Fairytale
Once upon a time there lived a young prince named Courage who lived in a palace and dreamed of adventure.
The King of Barrington was a good king, so there was peace in the land. When Courage was very small, he would play with his friend Skeeter who had very large ears and lived at the far end of the palace grounds. The boys would play at war, creating epic battles against imaginary enemies and coming home as heroes.
As the boys began to grow up, the King hired Thomas the Good Wizard to tutor Courage. Thomas the Good Wizard taught Courage many valuable things, and when he had learned all he could be taught, Thomas decided to go back to his family at the far end of Barrington.
Before Thomas left, he gave Courage a special gift: the Book of TRUTH.
Now Courage was a young man who was not interested in old books that smelled like mold and had no pictures in them of great battles. So Courage put the Book under his bed and forgot it.
One day an Evil Magician came into Barrington on a huge dragon that breathed fire on the villages and burned up the crops. The King rode out to meet him on a strong white stallion, and the two collided in a wild struggle.
It looked like the King would win until with a mighty blow to the temple, the King fell to the ground. Courage, who had been watching from a tree, scrambled down to save his father, but Skeeter held him back, and the two disappeared into the forest to hide.
The Evil Magician locked up the king and all his family in the highest tower, but he couldn’t find Courage. So the Evil Magician put a spell over all the land made of LIES.
The tower became a dungeon, the Evil Magician became the king, and Courage became Fear.
Fear decided to go to Thomas the Good Wizard for help, but now he was afraid to go by himself. So Skeeter went with Fear to the farthest end of the kingdom to find Thomas.
While they were traveling, the Evil Magician put another spell over the kingdom so that everyone who dared to teach TRUTH against his LIES would mysteriously die. When Fear and Skeeter arrived at the house, Thomas was dead.
But there was hope!
Skeeter, who had supersonic hearing because of his very large ears, overheard Thomas’ wife whispering about a Book of TRUTH that Thomas used to have that could reverse the spells and bring him back to life…if only she could find it. Then Fear remembered the gift Thomas had given him long ago, so the two borrowed horses from Thomas’ wife and rode for two days to get back to the palace.
Fear climbed up the wall of the castle, snuck into his bedroom window, and found the old Book under his bed. He opened the Book, blew off the dust, learned the secrets about the TRUTH and set the land free from the Evil Magician’s LIES.
The newly freed King sent the Evil Magician out of his kingdom, never to return, Thomas came back to life again, and Fear was once again restored to his true identity as Courage, a true hero—with help from Skeeter’s very large ears.
The end.
Forward Friday: Speak
This weekend, take some time to honor and acknowledge the women in your faith community for their leadership and ministry gifts and abilities. Here are some ideas to help get you started:
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write a thank you note
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write a letter
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give a $5 gift card
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take her out to lunch
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recognize her publicly
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offer an opportunity to lead in a new area
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mention her in the comment section below and send her the link
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mention her on your own blog and share the link in the comment section
Whatever you say or do, be genuine and specific.
If you are a woman in leadership, know that what you bring to the table is unique and valuable. Your voice matters. Keep speaking!
Choosing Church: A Lament (Part 3)
Church-Hunting
My husband and I spent several months looking for a church when we moved to a new area. You can read a little about our experiences here and here. We finally decided that we were not going to find The Perfect Church and that we needed to just pick one and make an effort to be part of the community of God.
The church we chose had some very positive traits. Some of the important elements we were were looking for in a church were present, and we were hopeful that we might be able to plug into the community and begin to make friends. It wasn’t the best fit, but we hoped it might be good enough at least for this season.
Fight or Flight
Now, after about three months of intentional effort to get to know people and become involved, it is clear that this church is not a good fit. These are kind, welcoming people. They are genuine and earnest in their pursuit of God and of community with each other. Because of these traits, their lack of support for women in ministry was an issue we thought we could overlook, but I have realized I do not feel safe here.
I will never feel safe here. I cannot share myself with these people because they will not understand or accept me. They will never be able to support and encourage me to live fully into my gifts and calling because their worldview does not allow it.
Since I moved to California, every time I have begun to participate in a community, I have found myself in leadership positions. Sometimes they were vacant, and I just happened to fill them. Sometimes positions were created to fit gifts and skills that were emerging and being recognized in me. Sometimes leadership opportunities were ill-timed or even unwelcome as I was struggling with accepting who I am and who God has called me to be.
I’ve spent so much time learning to spread my wings and trust them to keep me in flight that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have them clipped. Now that I have experienced freedom and have begun to live into my gifts and calling, I can’t go back to the way things were. I can’t go back to being satisfied with being in the background, watching and listening as the men lead, accepting their leadership without question, following well.
I can’t go back to being silent.
And I can’t watch these brilliant, gifted women assume the fullness of their roles in the kingdom of God is only available in the room where there are no men present. It’s too painful. It makes me angry.
Where is the freedom of Christ here? Where is the blood of Christ that covers us all? Why are we standing so far apart on our respective hills, the theological ones we’re willing to die on, when we should be kneeling together at the foot of the cross where we are all on common ground?
At the heart of body theology is the incarnation of Christ. Christ lived and died and rose again in the actual, fleshly sense. Through Christ we have been redeemed: body, mind, and spirit. We are made new. There is no longer race, class, or gender to divide us. All are one in Christ Jesus.
How can we regain our connection with the ideal, the beginning, the first bloom of the coming together of the community of God?
The first step is to recognize our strength and that our strength is far greater than that of the leash that ties us to satisfaction with complacency.
The Lament
If we can’t be silent and we can’t speak, where does that leave us?
I feel dishonest, sitting in a folding chair on community night while these earnest people open up their lives to each other, knowing I am not being vulnerable in return, knowing they would not know how to respond if I were, knowing there is no room for me here.
I want so much to join them. I want so much to leave.
I feel like the sluggard who buried his talent in the sand rather than using it to his advantage. Here I am with a seminary degree, a woman with all this knowledge and training and no where to put it to use. Here I am, sitting in that chair, keeping my mouth shut, unwilling to rock the boat, unable to move at all.
How can they be satisfied with so little? How can I expect so much?
I feel like a freak for not being satisfied among these people, these brothers and sisters, these members of the body of Christ. Their complacency wounds me, and I can’t even begin to explain it to them. I am already too defeated to try.
There is no room for me here. This space is too small and cramped. I can’t even squeeze in as it is. How can I grow?
I can’t stay here. But there is nowhere to go.
Choosing Church: A Lament (Part 2)
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28
Galatians 3:28 reminds us that we are joined by the Holy Spirit beyond race, class, or gender. How can churches preach “all are one in Christ Jesus” while discouraging strong women leaders like my friend Amy, the EPC candidate?
How can we be unified as
one body,
the body of Christ,
when we discriminate against each other based on the particular body God has given each of us?
The Choice
When we disagree with the status quo, we have a choice to make. We can let go of the disagreement, stay in the current situation, and suffer alone. We can stay and fight alone until we win or are removed. Or we can leave and either join another community already in agreement or start something new.
How do we make that choice? How do we decide when to suffer, when to fight, and when to leave?
Do not suffer in silence.
Take, for example, another couple in ministry in a community that is not supportive of women. Let’s call them John and Jenny. John has the visible leadership role, though Jenny has the clearly stronger leadership traits. John and Jenny have a pretty egalitarian marriage, all things considered, providing Jenny with the space and opportunities to grow into her leadership gifts more fully. Yet, like the elephant on a leash, she has been conditioned to subordinate herself to his leadership in the community.
With people like Jenny, I am too impatient. It kills me to see potential being wasted, to see Jenny silencing herself for the sake of not making her husband look bad, or for not drawing attention to gifts and skills she is not “allowed” to have. I want to rush her into freedom she doesn’t feel the need to seek. It’s too painful to wait and watch and hope.
Brothers and sisters, do not let your voices be silenced. Whether you are called to lean into your current situation and slowly affect change from within, or whether you are called to let go and move on to a place where you can experience safety and freedom–do not stay and suffer in silence. Do not allow the fear and ignorance of others to silence your prophetic voice.
You have something to say.
You are unique and valuable.
You are the catalyst for change.
And you are not alone. There have been many men and women before you who have advocated for women in ministry and leadership. There are many more around you now.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3
Fix your eyes on the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Go or stay, my dear siblings in Christ, only do not be silent. Speak.
What Community Means
So, how do we decide when to lean in and when to let go? The truth is, there is no perfect system, no one right answer. Every situation is different, and everyone is called differently. Ask God to reveal to you what your role is in your community.
Are you a catalyst for change? Are you in a toxic environment? Is your voice being heard? Are you an advocate for those without a voice? Is there room for you to grow?
For those of you who can stay and work for change, I admire and commend your patience and forebearance, your long-suffering and perseverance. I wish I could be more like you.
For me, being in community means being in a safe place. It means being accepted and valued. It means having the freedom to live fully into my gifts and calling. It means being able to listen to a sermon or pastoral prayer without getting angry. It means not having to be on the defensive constantly. It means being able to be fully myself. It means being able to disagree with others in the community without losing anything. It means having my voice heard, acknowledged, and welcomed.
A Seat at the Table
There is a lot of talk nowadays about being “invited to the table,” meaning being included in the conversation rather than having to wait for those at the table to discuss and decide and hand down a verdict. I know that language is useful to many people, but it reminds me of Thanksgiving dinner.
At Thanksgiving dinner, the adults sit at the adults’ table with all the food, nice plates, and wine. The children sit at the kids’ table with pre-prepared portions of food on paper plates and juice in plastic cups. As I grew older, I was put in charge of the kids’ table and made sure everyone had what they needed and that they didn’t bother the adults unnecessarily.
This metaphor of being invited to the table makes me feel like I am still at the kids’ table. I may be in leadership over everyone else at that table, but I am still considered “a kid.” Even if I’m invited to sit at the adults’ table, I’m not really one of them. I’m just a kid with a new seat, closer to the mashed potatoes.
I don’t want to have to fight for a seat at the table or wait to be invited. I want to be in a place where my seat at the table is a given, where it is taken for granted that I have been called and equipped with gifts and skills for leadership.
I’m tired of having this debate. I’m tired of being forced to defend myself and my fellow women believers at every turn. I’m tired of being angry at the injustice. I’m tired of being disappointed at the realization that, yet again, it’s really all about fear of sharing power, fear of losing control, fear that the truth may not be quite so neat and tidy after all.
I’m ready to move on from the kids’ table and step into the life God has called me to live. This reality is not what we are meant to be. The table is too small, and there are not enough chairs.
Where is the beauty and innocence of the first Christians?
Where is the unity and trust among believers?
Where is the sharing of wealth and power?
How can we regain our connection with the ideal, the beginning, the first bloom of the coming together of the community of God?
To be continued…
Choosing Church: A Lament (Part 1)
Last week two of my dear friends were accepted as candidates for ordination in the Evangelical Presbyterian Church. One was passed by the committee without any difficulty. The other was required to complete an extra step by writing a statement in defense of the biblical basis for being called to ordained ministry. One was accepted immediately. The other was accepted only by secret ballot.
These two friends, we’ll call them Adam and Amy, are a married couple who met in seminary and have been walking through the ordination process together. Can you guess which candidacy experience was Adam’s and which was Amy’s?
This kind of story is not uncommon, but it should be. When it comes to the issue of women in ministry and leadership, the question often revolves around teaching or preaching in the church. Should “they” be “allowed” to do “men’s work?”
But what about those of us who are not called to such obvious leadership roles? How do we advocate for ourselves or learn to find our own voices when even those women whose voices are gifted and called to vocation in the church are criticized, treated with suspicion, or even silenced?
Ideal vs Real
Consider the formation of the early church at Pentecost in Acts 2. When everything was new and just beginning, “all the believers were together and had everything in common.” In fact, “they broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people.” At that moment, as the community of God was being formed, everyone one was invited to the table, without regard for race, gender, or class. The excitement and joy over being first filled with the Holy Spirit superseded everything else. They had a common purse, a common purpose, and a shared trust in one another.
Then, as the church began to grow and as the first glow began to wear off, issues began to arise–issues of class, organization, leadership, rules, gender, and race. People began to argue, disagree, and divide. By the time of Martin Luther, the community of God was so broken that it could not remain unified anymore.
Since the emergence of Protestantism, the community of God has divided over issues of doctrine and church practice.
Gone is the unity believers once enjoyed and valued above all disagreements.
Gone are those first days of innocence and trust among fellow believers.
Gone is the ability to trust in the movement of the Holy Spirit in one another.
How can we regain our connection with the ideal, the beginning, the first bloom of the coming together of the community of God?
To be continued… (Read part 2 now!)
Friday Forward: Guest Post on Letting Go
Tammy Waggoner is a recent grad of Fuller Theological Seminary. She enjoys writing about the things that affect her life and ministering to women who have been abused. She is a trailblazer in this area and enjoys helping other people understand the complexity of sexual abuse as well as helping survivors get freedom and true healing. For more from Tammy, check out her ministry, Fractured Wholeness, and read her blog.
On Wednesday, Tammy shared about having a healthy body image by letting go of lies we believe about ourselves in response to Monday’s post, “Against the Flesh, Part 1.” Now she’s back today to share her very own Friday Forward exercise with you lovely readers.
One way of letting go of lies and self-hatred and believing the truth is to get out post-its and a pen. First write down the lies. If you have a cross at home or at church put the post-it on the cross and ask God to take it. If you don’t have a cross at home or at church that you can use then rip up the post-it and as you do ask God to take this thought from your mind and to never let it in again.
Then (no matter if you have the cross or have torn up the post-it) ask God to show you or tell you what the truth is. Close your eyes and wait. If you have trouble hearing God pray this prayer with someone else in the room and ask them to listen for God’s truth as well. Once you hear the truth or are told the truth by someone else write the truth down on another post-it (I like different colors for lies and truth but use what you’ve got) and put the post-it somewhere you will see it daily. Ask God to remind you of this truth every time you see it.
I have done this activity or prayer in my ministry before and it is interesting how once the post-it was left on the cross and the truth was said aloud the lie could no longer be remembered. There was freedom in leaving it on the cross and the truth had already begun to sink in.
Letting go of self-hatred and the lies we believe about our bodies can open us to the freedom of loving ourselves and seeing ourselves as God sees us.
So, how’d it go? Come back and share your experience in the comments below.
“Already” in the Flesh
If you missed Against the Flesh: Part 1 and Against the Flesh: Part 2, you might want to go back and read them first. You’ll definitely want to check out Tammy’s awesome response posted yesterday.
Like Tammy said yesterday, we all have internalized lies about our bodies that have distorted our self-image and our approach to relationships and sexuality. But we don’t have to live in that place anymore.
It’s time to embrace the truth about who we are as children of God. It’s time to spend a little time in the “already” of the kingdom of God.
So today, even just for an hour or a few minutes, allow yourself to really believe and live into the “already.”
Tell yourself in the mirror, or grab a friend and take turns telling each other the truth about who you are. Allow your body to hear your words, receive them, and begin to transform your life–as Tammy said–from the inside out.
Are you ready?
(Better get ready…)
Here we go!
Truth #1: You are precious.
4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give nations in exchange for you, and peoples in exchange for your life. 5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. 6 I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’ Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth— 7 everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” Isaiah 43:4-7 (TNIV)
Truth #2: You are priceless.
19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (TNIV)
Truth #3: You are chosen.
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12 (TNIV)
Truth #4: You are the dearly loved child of God.
1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1-2 (TNIV)
Still don’t believe it? Take some time to review the list of “already” verses from Tuesday. I also encourage you to revisit some of God’s truth about your identity in this list.
What’s your favorite truth about who you are? How are you living in the “already” today?
Guest Post: Inside Out
Tammy Waggoner is a recent grad of Fuller Theological Seminary. She enjoys writing about the things that affect her life and ministering to women who have been abused. She is a trailblazer in this area and enjoys helping other people understand the complexity of sexual abuse as well as helping survivors get freedom and true healing. For more from Tammy, check out her ministry, Fractured Wholeness, and read her blog.
This post is in response to Monday’s post, “Against the Flesh, Part 1.” In this post, Laura talks about the lies that people believe about their body. I had mentioned to Laura that if we want to get freedom from the lies, we need to not only understand where the Bible stands on such issues but also acknowledge and dig into the root of such issues.
Society tells us what the ideal body image is and until recently, with the influx of plus size models, that was size 0 without curves or blemish. Who really wears a size 0? Even plus size models are the ideal at size 14. As a woman with curves I have had to embrace my curves and really step into that but society alone is not to blame.
How we see ourselves on the outside is directly related to how we see ourselves on the inside.
Some people’s insides are damaged or broken. As an abuse survivor I can tell you that I have some distorted views of my body. My body reacted to abuse when my mind was screaming that it wasn’t right. My body let me down and in some instances I am plagued with ideas that my body is bad.
To admit that the first time was hard but now I know that my body was not to blame. Do you blame yourself for attraction? Do you blame yourself farting? Our bodies, made in God’s image, have natural functions that we cannot blame ourselves for.
Poor body image is directly related to self-hatred. I hate myself so I also hate my body. Women who have been abused spend lots of time trying to hide their bodies, the idea being, “If I can become ugly or invisible no one will try to take advantage.” This outward need to become hidden is sad but when this is broken it is beautiful to watch.
In my ministry I have seen women go from wearing all black and covering their bodies from head to toe to wearing bright colors and new cuts and no longer hiding behind dark clothing but stepping into who they actually are. It is the rewarding part of my job and my ministry. Watching women come out of the shells they have hidden behind is awesome.
How you view your body is directly related to how outside forces have told you to view your body. What did your parents tell you about your body? Often parents who scold their children when they catch them masturbating instill in them the idea that their genitals and their sexual drives are bad.
What did your first boy/girlfriend tell you about your body? What happened in the locker room in middle school? What have past dating partners told you?
Each person we interact with tells us something about our body and we take that image in. Sometimes we are lucky and the people in our lives nurture our love of our bodies but often times we are not as lucky and each interaction further distorts our body image.
So how can we possibly see beyond our distorted body images? It takes time, a good support system full of loving people who see us as we actually are and a loving God to guide you along the way.
Letting go of lies and self-hatred takes time and is not a quick process but it is totally worth it. Letting go of self-hatred and the lies we believe about our bodies can open us to the freedom of loving ourselves and seeing ourselves as God sees us.
Holistic Body Theology 